I'm Through

My headboard rocks as my body creaks with frustration
No tears, but I'll pull out my heart with no hesitation
Cowardly. He's no real man
I thought love and trust went hand in hand
He did it first,
SO mine was just payback
But he made a big deal about what happened way back
You CHEATED

And it took you a year to tell me
Is it because you wanted to be seen as faithful ?
And you didn't want to fail me ?
You're a hypocrite !
And you know why...
Just because I lusted that one time
I stopped it. But you
You kept going
Or did you accidentally continously fall in and out
Swaying. Like the wind blowing ?
Oh. But I can trust you. Can't I ?
Now how do I know that your whole BEING is not a lie ?
Love rolls off his lips
Into a kiss...
Ignorance is bliss
You shouldn't have told me this !
A fire burns in my stomach
And my heart is a smoking ember
Lies upon lies
But you speaking about TRUTH is all I remember !
I despise you. And whoever laid on their back
You confused DOG !
I don't know if I want you back
Our relationship is like building blocks
In a game of Jenga
The first month is screwed up !
So our tower is in danger !
I LOVED YOU
Now I feel nothing but deep hatred
I KNEW. I FELT IT !
But I didn't want to FACE IT !
But he's only did it once...
I contemplate. As my knees quake
But I don't care
I just want to toss and turn and pull out my hair !
I can feel my bottom lip trembling
We all know what that means
But I refuse to cry. Because this
Rage is so strong
I can't calm down
I have my hand on my phone
I try to refrain from profanity..
But FUCK it. HE DID ME WRONG !
Yes I did that. But he did it first.
Why did you wait this long ??
You just made it worst !
My eyeball twitches as I swallow spit
My pen flows on the paper as I sit
I want to call and get it over with
Just pick up the phone...
And speak into the reciever
How he was a lier, cheater, and deciever
How I want to see BLOOD rush from his temple
From a blow with a meat cleaver
Chop him up into strips and put him back together
Like a basket weaver !
But I digress...
My heart is too big, I suppose
Too much emotional stress
To stay away from temptation,
I try my hardEST
Maybe I should have no consciENCE
That seems like the best
Thing to do.
Don't you know I would've done anything for you ?
If you die, before I, I'd wait anxiously for MY time too !!
I don't really know WHAT to do !
But.. I just have nothing else to say to you...