Drowned.

SPLASH. Water engulfs me like a mother's arms. An abusive mother. A mother that doesn't love. One that has spikes pertruding from her heart and piercing her skin. Piercing my skin. Weighing me down and not letting me escape from her embrace. I panic. I thrash my arms wildly to reach the surface, but this wasn't an ordinary body of water. The water was heavy. This water was hot. Boiling. I gasp for air, but I swallow hatred and loneliness. I could feel the liquid force its way to the back of my throat. The taste of heat and salt stampeded onto my tongue. I could no longer move. My legs felt numb and my arms weak from the struggle. I swallowed and it burned. I could feel myself sinking. Myself thinking, "Why would she do this?" Bubbles formed around me. Formed against me. Attacking my sight. I didn't know which way was up. My vision began to get blurry. The death fluid blackened. I drifted into unconscienceness. My breathing stopped. My body stiffened. Only God knew where the current would take me..

Amber Part 3

I sat, comfortably, with my legs crossed on the bean bag chair in the guidance counselor's office. I hate this place. All she wants to do is talk about your feelings. Vomit burns the back of my throat just thinking about it. Paco was sitting next to me on the sofa. His clothes were torn and his nose seemed broken. He held a, now, melting bag of ice on it. This room was so calming and peaceful, though. The walls were a light purple, with cotton filled butterflies hanging from the ceilings. The trimmings were a lime green with pictures of flowers embedded into the design. I would actually prefer to live here.. but I could never tell anyone that. What? I already get picked on enough! Anyway, I could hear the counselor, Ms. Lovings, talking to the principal in the back room.

The Lord is a Scapegoat

Put your faith into Him
Believe in Him
Thank Him. Praise Him.
Have you seen Him?
Meet Him. Greet Him.
No. You trouble Him.
If there is a Him.
He only answers what has no explanation.
The Lord is my scapegoat.
Whenever I'm in a bind.
I blame him.
When I'm blessed I blame him.
Call on Him.
Need Him. Want Him.
Accuse Him.
Religion isn't science.

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Fairy Tales Aren't Real

After weeks of continuous wiggling
It finally came out!
And it didn't hurt one bit
When it fell from my mouth
My mom said put it under your pillow
Just for safe keeping
And in the peak of night
She will come. Gifts she'll be bringing
I dreamed of this magical fairy
Cause I knew she'd be coming
But when I awoke, I saw my tooth
She brought me nothing!
This made me doubt everything
As I ate my morning meal
Santa, The Easter Bunny
Are any of them real?
I told my mom what happened
I saw worry in her face
I asked why didn't she come
And she replied, "she's just running late."
I layed in my bed,
I repeated my actions that night
Hoping she won't pass me
I tucked my molar less tight
I awoke to a dollar
A dollar that was late
I added it to my piggy bank
And confirmed to myself..
"Everything is fake."

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Awesome

So, I have found out that I can do this from my phone. That means a lot more posts in the future! :)

A Kiss Doesn't Mean Anything

A kiss doesn't mean anything
Unless there's substance between
Two faithful human beings.

Amber Part 2

The next day, I woke up feeling like I had to prove something. My head banged from the huge laceration on my skull. I shuffled my way to the bathroom and stared into the mirror.

"This is your day," I encouraged myself. I didn't quite know what I was going to do, I thought to myself as I brushed my teeth, but it had to be drastic. It had to be something demeaning, yet, bloody. Let me stop, because I know I'm starting to sound crazy right about now. I don't want to KILL anyone. I just want to kill those big EGOS that they carry around over their blown up heads.

I'm Through

My headboard rocks as my body creaks with frustration
No tears, but I'll pull out my heart with no hesitation
Cowardly. He's no real man
I thought love and trust went hand in hand
He did it first,
SO mine was just payback
But he made a big deal about what happened way back
You CHEATED

Till The End Of Time

I give my love for you to take
And pray our souls shall never break
For you I lust and yet admire
Passion burning like a fire
I love him more than life itself
I played my cards shuffled and dealt
If his life shall cease before mine
I'll anxiously wait for my time
You know that I care for you dearly
Love rises from my heart sincerely
Candy hearts and valentine chocolate roses
Consuming love with every dosage

9.5.09

Today is my 1 year anniversary with my fabulous boyfriend, Tiquan Pryor. I never would have thought that I would, or even could, be able to stay with one person for this long. I'm glad that I did though. We've been through so much, and he is so forgiving and perfect. I would just like to take the time to say thank you, and I love you. :)

Social Networking Living

Technology. Somewhat a large word, but it has done the damage of a bulldozer. It has ruined some people's lives, and made a life for others. Think, If we had no technology, what would YOU be doing right now ? Not reading this blog.

The worst thing about technology has to be the social networking. The fact that a keyboard has taken the place of actually meeting and greeting. I know people that get online just to see what they're "Internet Girlfriend/Boyfriend" has sent to them. Myspace, Facebook, and the newfound Twitter is wrecking everyone's minds and some reputations.

"Why everytime I'M online, YOU'RE onilne ?" Believe it or not, I have actually heard that statement. It doesn't make sense ! Truely, I want to cut down on using these sites unless I have to. But when will I need to use one ? I really want to cut down on this dependence of technology that every one has. (Although that sounds almost impossible)

I am usually on the internet when I'm bored, then when I get off, I watch t.v. I go from one idiot box to another. Then, if nothing is on television, I simply enjoy my X-Box. I don't know when I became obsessed or overwhelmed with this technology, but I would like to get my life back.

Parents

This is not a poem, nor a story, I just want you to look at what I go through everyday. First, let me tell you about me.

I'm sixteen years old, and going to be seventeen in December. I am the youngest of six, and I still get treated like I'm a newborn. I have three cats, and one of their names' is Kat. I love Spongebob and Lil Wayne, and I hope to become a Forensic Scientist.

Okay, enough about me, let's get to the matter at hand.

Amber

I never thought the day would come that Amber Closey would talk to me. She had to be the prettiest girl at Westcoast High. Cocoa skin, long, golden hair, and a body to die for. She wasn't dumb either. The day she asked me what the homework was, was the best day of my life.

I Want To Cry, But Where's The Tears?

I stare into the mirror as I sob
Eyes burning, and my heart throbs
With constant pain and despair
Love? Not quite. It's just not there
But I felt so many feelings for him
But he had feelings for them
I thought he was my 'highschool sweetheart'
But he targeted my heart
With a gun and shot it

Don't Cry

Eyes swollen with tears
'He' was gone for so many years
How is 'he' going to come back into our life
And fill us with misery and strife
But he tries to act like 'he's' not there
Afraid to show his true feelings of despair
I might seem like I don't care
But I just think it's not fair
Why did 'he' have to choose my dad ?
It tore me up on the inside, bad
Daddy, I love you
I hope you know these words are true
I would die for you
Risk my own life for you
As you cough and choke
With that cancer in your throat
I continuously pray
Everyday
I look at him and let out a sigh
And whisper, "Daddy, please don't cry."


I wrote this poem August 18th, 2008, and that was the day my father was diagnosed with throat cancer, but now he's doing fine. :)

Summer 2010

Okay. So I have decided to keep my blog up over the summer. (Even though this was just a school assignment.) I think since I write poems, and little stories daily on loose leaf paper, I might as well put it on the internet for innocent by-viewers to read it.

I know that I will not be able to post everyday, but I will try to post at list two things every week. Key word TRY, so don't get upset when your weekly fix of 'Ge's Writings' isn't satisfied, just know that I'm trying.

Okay. I think I've stated my business, and now you know my plans. Hopefully, I can keep my promise.

-Jilah :)

10 Years of Awesomeness :)

2000
The year 2000 is a year that is very hard to remember, since it was ten years ago and I was only six. I can vaguely recall my elementary, Delano Optional School, and my kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Stepter. Yes, kindergarten was the life. I know it sounds corny, but I actually miss those naptimes, and wanting to draw pictures on the back of all your work. I was the best drawer in the class. I had a best friend, then. His name was Cameron Golden. Cameron and I would spend every ounce of our time together. I remember people thinking that we had a crush on each other, later on; we found out that we actually did. We didn’t really pay that much attention to clothes during that time, but I know my favorite movie was The Iron Giant. The memory that sticks out to me the most is my kindergarten graduation, where I was promoted to the 1st grade. I thought I was grown.

Persuit Of Happiness

He sits at his desk, waiting for the man to come in who is trying to receive a job. He wonders what his wife is cooking at home. “I hope she fixes that casserole.” He regains his sense of existence and looks up when the man walks in. He is appalled by his appearance. “There is no way that Boss is going to let him in,” he thinks. He shakes three other people’s hands before he shakes his. The ruggish man says his name was Chris Garner.

A&P Retelling: Big Tall Goony Goony

The sand was hot under my feet when Laura told Susie and me to come with her to the store. Her parents were going to have a gathering later on that night, and they needed some Herring Snacks. We were too far away from home to go and change, so we were forced to leave with only our bathing suits on. I think Laura liked walking around half naked. I refused, but the persuasion and persistence in her voice, forced both of us to tag along.

The Situation: Who Drank My Apple Juice?

It was an early spring morning and the sun forced its way through the drapes of the Girbaud Hotel. A few beams of light cascaded on the glossy wood floor. They raced up the side of Lil Wayne’s bed, and continued their dance on his face. His eyes barely open, he shifted to look at his clock on the nightstand beside his bed. It was nine o’clock. If he didn’t get up now, he’d be late for his show. He hopped out of the bed, and a chill ran up his body that felt like a thousand cactus needles. The floor was ice cold, so he reached under the bed, and grabbed his warm, pink bunny slippers. He slid his feet into his house shoes and shuffled his way to the bathroom. He walked down the hall, passing Odysseus’ and Rosa Parks’ room. They were both still sound asleep. He made it to the bathroom and gently closed the door, careful not to wake his roommates.